Interested in exploring kink? Once you and your partner have discussed your fantasies, then it's time to pick a safe word, as BDSM should *always* feel pleasurable and consensual for everyone involved. As Dr. Emily Morse, host of the SiriusXM radio show and podcast of Sex With Emily, previously told Cosmo, "A safe word is a designated word you say when sexual play with a partner becomes too intense, painful, or starts to creep past your boundaries." And once that word is used, all sexual activity must stop until everyone understands why the safe word was invoked.

 

Whenever you're engaging in play where your boundaries might be crossed, it's essential to have an open line of communication. And, ofc, if you're totally new to kink, you don't wanna dive right into more extreme practices, like breath or rope play. "A lot of people start with blindfolds, light bondage, or a little bit of spanking," certified sex coach Dr. Celina Criss has told Cosmo. It's also important to note that almost all BDSM can be modified to be done without experiencing any pain at all—according to Criss, intensity is a more accurate way of thinking about the BDSM experience rather than pain.

 

If a certain BDSM act has piqued your interest, then make sure you learn all you can about it. Do your research, present your desires to your partner (in a neutral, non-sexual place), and then get ready to go shopping for some goodies. Speaking of which...